


tell the world i'm coming home

by justanotherlittlewriter



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Everybody Lives, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Mostly Fluff, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 21:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10625829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherlittlewriter/pseuds/justanotherlittlewriter
Summary: A fix-it fic for the end of rouge one simply because I can't live with the canon one.





	

“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the –“ Chirrut muttered, interrupted harshly by a shot digging its way into his sides. The sensation of victory of reaching the lever was quickly over. He felt the sharp pain and immediately fell to the ground, his senses going blank.

“Chirrut!” Baze shouted at the lying body, seemingly unmoving. Baze couldn’t help but mutter idiot, as he ran into the constant fire without hesitation, ducking behind the control pad and scrambling up Chirrut from the ground. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was talking about him or much rather himself. But Chirrut was still breathing. His chest was still rising and dropping, though getting weaker every second. He saw the wound and felt the blood warmly seeping through his clothes, painting the usual gray textile a dark and terrifying scarlet color. He was no doctor, but even he could tell that it was bad. He knew that Chirrut needed medical help. Fast. As soon as he started to think about his options a flicker of hope gleamed in the back of his mind. Maybe Bodhi is still here. _Maybe the ship is still in one piece. Maybe there’s a way out. ___

____

That tiny piece of hope was enough for him to stand up with Chirrut in his arms, shooting blindly with his gun and running towards where the ship has landed. He was fighting over-exhaustion with every step, but the warmth of the body in his arms kept him going. His feet slipped a bit more with every step, but he wasn’t going to give up. 

It took a long time until he finally spotted the ship, at least it felt like forever, but once he did, his steps got longer and lighter. Bodhi noticed him from far away, opening the door for him and running ahead, to start the engine up. A tall, dark shadow appeared at the entrance of the ship, taking Chirrut from his arms and laying him gently on the floor. Baze was dizzy and in desperate need of water or sleep. He wasn’t sure, but it was probably both. He dropped to the floor, right next to his companion. He could barely keep his eyes open, much less talk or ask for anything. He was close to Chirrut, his eyes focused on the weak rising and dropping of his chest, his knee barely touching the other one’s leg. He saw the tall, dark shadow – a friend, he was sure, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on who it was – put a bandage over Chirrut’s side, right after pouring disinfectant on it. He tried to nod to them thankfully, but it ended up being more of a desperate blink. He then felt the ship shake as Bodhi – he assumed – lifted into the air, ready to save them.

“K2-SO!” He heard Bodhi shout. His voice was desperate and hoarse, as if he was on the verge of breaking down. The tall, dark shadow – K2-SO, then – headed towards the cockpit. “Any idea of Jyn and Cassian’s whereabouts?”  
Jyn and Cassian. They were still not there, and supposedly Bodhi assumed they would not be coming back to the landing spot.

“They will most probably be in the close perimeter of the tower.” K2-SO said, slightly dulled by the walls between them and Baze. “I suggest we fly there and then get lower.” And just like that they were off, and Baze couldn’t help but lean back, slowly letting his blinks get longer and longer.

×

Cassian couldn’t make out much more in the darkness of the elevator than Jyn’s face, dangerously close to his. He could feel her warm breath against his cheeks, making his heart flutter in all the ways it shouldn’t have. He knew what was next. There was no happy end to this mission. Not for them at least. The plans were out; the Resistance had a chance at surviving, but them… not so much.

He had already sent K back to the ship, in hope that Bodhi would get him and with any luck Baze and Chirrut out before all things went to hell. But for him and Jyn he didn’t have much hope. They were just escaping the tower; they should’ve been already on the ship. They had no chance of getting back to it, therefore no chance of getting out. He knew that and he knew that Jyn must have suspected it as well. Her eyes were fixated on his face, as if taking in his expression for the last time.

Those moment were more intimate than any kiss he had ever had. Just the fact that she let her so close was a miracle, a miracle he wasn’t quite ready to let go.  
He had been fine with dying on a mission all his life. He was a soldier and dying for the cause seemed like an honorable death. But right then, having her so close, it made him want to live so much. It was just his luck that this happened when he had no control of the situation. It didn’t matter how good of a shot he was, nor his reflexes. 

“Jyn…” Cassian began, his voice hoarse and weak. He felt the need to apologize to Jyn. He was the one who convinced her to not give up on the idea and go rogue. If not for him, she’d be back at the base. Maybe angrier, but at least safe and alive. Now she was there, right beside him, ready to die with him for a cause she never quite believed in. The thought clenched his heart and his throat thickened before he could have continued.

“I know.” She muttered, quiet enough that even Cassian – who was standing only inches away – barely heard her. She carefully slipped an arm under Cassian’s, ready to support his weight once the elevator door opened. And it did, maybe a second after.

Cassian took a final deep breath and then stepped out the door, miserably failing at walking, trying to spare his shot leg from any pressure. At the same time, he tried not to lean on Jyn too much, not wanting to exhaust her. Not then, not in their –probably – last moments. Jyn lead him, confidently, out to the open. She didn’t seem to have much of a destination, other than the sea. Cassian couldn’t help but let his gaze fall on her, taking her in, memorizing every inch. 

He memorized her steel color eyes, which seemed to soften in those moments. Maybe it was acceptance, maybe it was hope. Hope for something better to come. Her hair was falling in her eyes in unruly strands, which she just reacted to by pushing them out with her free hand. Her lower lip was bleeding, probably from a punch, but she didn’t seem to care. She was calm in all her being, even though her usual fire – the fire that made her so interesting – was still present. It was what kept Cassian going, taking one painful step after another.

“Jyn! Cassian!” He heard from above them, only to be shadowed by the ship –their ship, he realized – a second later. Bodhi was standing at the entrance as somebody else, most likely K, lowered the ship. Jyn’s lips parted in surprise, but her steps fastened, pulling Cassian with him. When the ship was maybe a feet from the ground, Bodhi jumped off and with a couple of steps he reached them. He took Cassian’s other side, supporting him as well and helping Jyn push him up on the ship.  
When they were up, all three of them, the door shut and Bodhi was off to the cockpit, ready to get them out of there. Cassian couldn’t help but sigh in relief as he looked up at Jyn standing over him. She was on the edge of her nerves as he followed Bodhi forward, only glancing at Cassian for a split second. Her eyes were still unusually soft, but her distantness was back.

He was sitting on the ground, propped against the wall. Right opposite from him was Baze, seemingly passed out, sitting over an unconscious Chirrut. It didn’t take Cassian a second to notice the bandage over Chirrut’s side, nor the weak movements of his chest. He was dying and he needed professionals. Fast. Baze seemed to be fine; his breathing was strong and he was nearly unharmed.  
He could hear K2-SO’s loud objections to Bodhi’s maneuvers and it filled his heart with warmth. He wasn’t quite sure when he got so attached to the droid, but now he was as close as any family has ever been to him. Cassian trusted that they would be fine without him, so he let his head fall back against the wall.  
His leg was palpitating with waves of pain, but there wasn’t much he could do just then. He had tied a bandage tightly above it to reduce the bleeding, but the agonizing pain didn’t go away. There was a slight hint of panic in the back of his mind – as to ‘what if this injury is worse than he thought? What if he’s going to lose his leg?’ –, but he decided to ignore it and doze off, his head against the wall.

×

Jyn’s hand was clenched around her mother’s crystal necklace as she stood over Bodhi and K2-SO, watching them fly the ship off the planet. Just seconds ago, she was ready to die. Now, there was nothing that she wanted more than to get back to the Resistance base – a place that she nearly considered home.  
For the first time in ages, she felt hope burning in her heart and lungs, lighting up her entire being. She did something good, she saved lives and there wasn’t a better feeling than that.

Though at the same time, she felt the constant pain in her heart for all the people they lost. They arrived with a team of rebels, who were ready to fight by her side and… and she couldn’t save them. Barely any of them made it back. The only ones she saw – aside from Cassian – were Baze, Chirrut and the two pilots, K2-SO and Bodhi. That was dishearteningly few. 

“And we’re out.” Bodhi breathed, pulling her out of her thoughts. His face was painted with relief as he jumped up and caught her in his arms. At first Jyn couldn’t react from the surprise, but then she let her arms curl around his back and even allowed a smile to appear on her lips.

“You saved us, Bodhi. This is your success.” She told him, forcing calmness onto herself. She was relieved and happy, and that was new. But it was a good new. “Welcome to the Resistance.”

Bodhi just glanced proudly at his feet, ready to object that it was not only his accomplishment, but Jyn just patted his back and walked out. She needed to see if the rest of them were okay.

At the back of the ship, the three men were all unconscious, sleeping or worse. Chirrut looked horrible, his side was completely blown apart from the shot, but he seemed to endure. Jyn hoped he would recover. Baze, who was sitting by Chirrut’s side, seemed fine, apart from exhaustion.  
And then there was Cassian. His leg was bleeding pretty badly, but there wasn’t anything she could do for him, no matter how much she wanted to help. His face was pale and he was drowning in sweat as he leaned against the cold wall. She wasn’t sure if he was asleep or just resting his eyes, but she decided to take her chance.

She slowly sat down next to him, careful not to touch him or wake him. His breathing was steady, although slightly ragged and he really didn’t look that well. Being around him calmed her for some reason. He had a certain warmth about him, despite how cold he could become whenever it was needed.

“Jyn?” He muttered, making her jump a bit. She wasn’t expecting him to be awake, much less to actually talk. Her shoulders tensed a bit as she answered.

“Right here.” She whispered back, inching a tiny bit closer to him – she told herself it was to hear him better. Cassian didn’t open his eyes, but the corner of him mouth twitched upward ever-so-lightly, as if he wanted to smile. He looked like hell. He really did. His hair was messier than usually, his shirt was ripped at a couple of places and his jacket was slipping off his shoulder.

“Mmh.” He nodded, still nearly asleep. It seemed to be a sign of approval but Jyn wasn’t quite sure. Cassian must have sensed her uncertainty because he shuffled even closer to her, their sides touching now and opened his mouth again. “Stay.”

×

Cassian woke up with a horrible headache. He felt like his head was going to burst and the neon lighting in the med center didn’t help. He felt a dull pain in his leg, still, but he decided to ignore it and get up. The room was as plain as it gets and he was alone aside from the nurse approaching him.

“Captain Andor!” She greeted him with a broad smile. She couldn’t have been over fourteen. “You should rest, your leg is not completely healed yet.”  
Cassian reached for his jacket – all clean and washed – and shrugged it on, while glancing down at the girl. She was much shorter than him, he noted. “Thank you, but I think I’ll be alright.” He said, giving her a small smile. He was warm, but he knew he needed to show the girl who was in charge if he was going to walk out of there. And there was no way that he would stay a second longer than absolutely necessary. He hated med centers and hospitals. He hated how plain and cold they were and the memories of losing people came rushing back every time he was there.

The girl opened her mouth to argue, but when he met her eyes, she just nodded and stepped aside. “I’ll tell them that you felt fine, Captain.”  
He just nodded gracefully and walked out, testing his leg. It still hurt from the pressure, but he managed to take normal steps. He was headed to the control room, to report the mission.

The mission. Scarif. Rouge One. Memories he tried to avoid ever since he started to get conscious. He was absolutely knocked out for a day after returning, completely tied to bed. He had spent another one there, just to please his Doctor, but he couldn’t spend any more time lying in a bed, when there was never so much to do before. The Resistance finally had a head start.  
He reached the control room in a couple of short minutes, nodding to everyone congratulating him in the halls, and pushed the door. Inside, a handful of people gathered around each screen, debating decisions in a quiet matter. His eyes scanned the room, until he spotted the person he was looking for.

“General Draven!” He greeted the man, straightening his back as a loose salute.

“Captain Andor! Glad to see you walk. You worried us all, returning like that.” Draven smiled at him, shaking his hand. His hold was firm and his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Cassian forced a smile and nodded, urging the general to continue. “Princess Leia received the message. She will take over the mission from now on. You did well, Cassian.”

“Thank you, sir.” He nodded again, although he felt a bit disappointed to be dismissed with a simple ‘congratulations’. He wasn’t expecting anything big, no, he didn’t wish for that at all. Still, maybe a genuine smile or a proud handshake would have satisfied him more.

“Well, then.” He sighed, glancing back at the screens. “I shall return to the work. I believe you have a couple of days free for recovery, so I will see you around, Captain.” He said, dismissively. Cassian swallowed and walked out after saying goodbye to the general.

He was just strolling around in the hallways, wondering what to do when he noticed a familiar figure coming opposite him. She was deeply occupied in reading some document, enough that she didn’t even notice him until they were right in front of each other. Then, she glanced up, meeting his eyes and her lips softly parted in shock.

“Cassian.” she breathed, letting her shield down for a second. Her eyes fluttered, looking up at him through her lashes.

“Jyn.” he smiled at her. For a second her mouth twitched upwards, but then she collected herself and forced the usual emotionless expression on her face. She was pushing him away again and it broke his heart.

“I see you’ve recovered.” She stated, glancing at his leg. “Captain.” she added after clearing her throat awkwardly. She turned a bit, trying to slip past him and end the conversation. 

Cassian hesitated for a second, but then reached for her wrist, gently gripping it, keeping her by his side. Once again their faces were only inches apart and he knew she was thinking of the elevator again. She pulled at her arm, but he didn’t let go. He knew if he let her walk away now, she wouldn’t come back. He would become just a Captain for her and that… that was not good enough. Not with her.

“Jyn…” He began once again, his voice soft, but firm this time. She glanced at him for a split second, but nearly immediately looked away. She was trying to stay distant with all that she was. “Don’t push me away. I’m here for you.”

She still didn’t meet his eyes when she replied. “I’m not. Sorry.” She said in a cold, icy tone, forcefully pulling her hand away and walking away without looking back. He stood there for a couple more seconds, then lowered his chin, pursed his lips and continued to walk. He felt her words sting in his chest, but he was trained enough to ignore it. He bit down on his tongue and continued on with his day.

He spent most of the day in training, shooting and testing how well his leg healed. He met Bodhi at lunch and ran into Chirrut and Baze on his last examination back at the med center. They were all alright, although a bit shaken up from the happening at Scarif. They seemed genuinely glad to see Cassian and he – maybe unintentionally – returned the feelings wholeheartedly. They have become a team after all. A weird team, he could admit that much, but still a team.  
He managed to get her words off his mind for the whole day. Well… nearly.

×

He was ready to lie down when he hear a soft knock on his door. He took two long steps, typed the right numbers in the reader and watched as the door slowly slid open. He couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows in surprise when he saw Jyn standing outside. She was worn out, her hair slightly messier than usual, as if she had been laying on it.

“Jyn.” He greeted her, forcing his voice to stay calm and collected. He was not going to show how he felt, not after Jyn clearly distancing herself. “Can I help you?”

“Can we talk?” She asked, finally meeting his eyes. Her usually fierce eyes just seemed tired and desperate. He hadn’t seen her like this before, so he immediately assumed that something was very off. He wasn’t quite sure how to react – he was never good with feelings –, but stepping out of the way and letting her in seemed like a good start.

She slowly walked in, her steps careful and unsteady. She was usually as confident as it gets and in those moments Cassian could see her walls crumbling down. He waited quietly by the door as it closed behind them, leaving the two of them in the dim room.

“I… I’m sorry for coming here.” She began, her voice shaking unnaturally. She was stood facing away from him, hiding her face. “I wasn’t sure where I could go.”

“It’s okay.” He nodded, taking slow steps towards her. He didn’t want to scare her and most of all he didn’t want this moment to pass. Despite whatever happened earlier that day, there she was, trusting him, coming to him, letting him see her when she was defenseless. “What’s wrong?”

“I had a nightmare.” She whispered, her voice fading away. “We were on Scarif. Rogue One. And… we…” she continued, her voice breaking. Cassian would have sworn she was crying in that moment, if it wasn’t Jyn Erso. Jyn Erso wasn’t the type of person to cry. Still, when she turned around, he saw the gleam of unshed tears in her eyes. “We never left. I… I know it was a dream, but… I… it felt so real, I wasn’t… I thought…”

She was sobbing now, drowned in memories and the pain of them. Cassian didn’t hesitate for a second, taking two long steps again, until they were inches apart. He didn’t linger on the moment this time, pulling Jyn into a tight embrace. He was sure she would try to pull away again, but she didn’t. Her body was shaking with sobs and all she did was stand there, letting her tears fall for once.

“It’s okay, I’m right here.” He murmured into her hair as he placed one of his hands at the nape of her neck, holding her as close as he could. His heart was beating fast and he was certain Jyn could hear it, though she didn’t comment on it. “I got you.”

She was so close. SO damn close. Yet Cassian couldn’t help but fear that she would slip away. Out of his hand, out his door and then never return. Because Jyn was as free as people get, no matter what anyone told her. And he couldn’t imagine why she would tie herself down for someone like him. Just a rebel out of a hundred others.

“I feel like I can’t breathe.” She whispered leaning her forehead against his chest, still looking down. She didn’t pull away, so he assumed he didn’t mean it literally. Cassian waited for her to continue. “I feel like everything is happening so fast and it’s horrible and I… I just can’t breathe and my heart is beating out of my chest and I can’t sleep and…” She was speaking fast now, letting her emotions show through. She was sobbing and gasping for air and Cassian’s heart broke, just by looking at her in that state. She was falling apart and she was terrified. 

“Hear my heartbeat?” He asked, pulling away a bit, just enough to lift her head with a soft touch. He let his hand linger under her jaw for a second before continuing. “Just focus on that.”

She gulped loudly before laying her head on his chest again, each one of her breaths getting slower and calmer. It took about a minute until she was calm. A minute, in which she let Cassian hold her. She let him listen and be there for her. She showed him her low point, trusted him with it. Cassian couldn’t let himself think of all that, taking it as his duty to keep his heartbeat steady for her.

After that long –but not long enough – minute she pulled away. She didn’t step back, keeping close to Cassian’s warm body, but enough that she could look up at him.

“Thank you.” She whispered, wiping her tears off her cheek with the back of her hand. She seemed so fragile right then (though Cassian knew that if he dared to note that, she would kick his ass.) He wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to react, so he just nodded to her with a smile. “Cassian…”

“Mmh?” he hummed with his eyes still fixated on her. There was a change in her expression. She still had her guard down, but now instead seeming broken and breakable; she just seemed open and honest.

“Do you remember the elevator in Scarif? On our way out…” She began, stopping when Cassian assured her with a nod.

“It’s hard to forget anything about Scarif.” He mumbled, glancing off her face. He couldn’t look her in the eye and simply comfort her as a friend, knowing what he felt for her in those moments. He couldn’t tell her that he would have put her above the cause – the cause he had lived for all his life and the cause that his entire family died for.

“I want us to be like that.” She blurted out, eyes wide and hands trembling behind Cassian’s back. She was scared that she ruined everything. She was scared of losing Cassian, just like she lost everyone else she loved. Because damn it, she loved Cassian. No matter how much she wanted to live emotionless and cold, Cassian got a hold of her. She wasn’t sure if she could ever get up from losing him.

Cassian’s eyes darted back to meet hers, open with shock and pleasant surprise. His mouth opened slightly as he let out a small gasp. Jyn’s eyes were curiously examining him as he managed to collect himself and swallow hard. Jyn was everything he wasn’t supposed to want. She wasn’t only an attachment in the eyes of the rebellion, but also a person of mistrust and a thief. Still, he felt his heart flutter in his chest as he managed to get the words out.

“And what is that like?” He whispered, barely loud enough for Jyn to hear. She hesitated for a second, glancing at her feet and biting her lower lip. Cassian followed her movement with his eyes and finally decided. He wasn’t going to sacrifice this for the greater cause.

He leaned down, gently pulling her chin up to meet his lips in the middle. She immediately reacted, reaching up to Cassian, cupping his cheeks. His hands were already on her waist, as he pulled her into him as much as he could. The warmth of her body against his was a reassuring feeling. When he finally pulled away to take a breath and look at her, she slowly dragged her thumb over his jaw, her eyes never leaving his face.

“I want us to be like this too.” He muttered to her, his fingers stroking her waist.


End file.
